Wednesday, August 31, 2005
today's the day where lessons officially end for the term. i believe for many other schs, there's still sch on friday! hahah.. for eg, HCI, where they will be having a maths lecture test on friday! woohhoo.. i'll be having fun =p haha.. okay, i think im evil, considering i have no many frens in hc.
so yea, reach sch and sat at the grand stand, there werent many ppl from our class except sihui. hmmm, it was already a sign tt many ppl wont be present for the day. but aint it good? i will have more pizzas to eat! hahahah.. i came just for the pizzas, and of cos, to go back to my alma mater. we must 饮水思源! hahah.. hmmm, the concert was okayy, at least i dint fall aslp, the 15 of us from the class were sitting by the drain, to escape from the merciless sun which continued to shine its light on the parade square. tt sux, sometiems, i feel that the sun is too bright and too hot. but tt's life. cant blame the sun. after the concert was the class party! wow! the 15 of us were stuffing ourselves with pizzas! hawaiian, seafood, curry chicken! yum yum, sad to say, i only ate 4 slices and became as full as a balloon. i wish my stomach could hold more food. but i felt the class party was lacklustre in the way tt it doesnt feel like a party, it just feels like a pizza feast, no noise (besides the loud "happy teachers day" songs from the other classes). and there werent any tchrs with us too.. but nvm, it's okay. as long i get to eat my pizzas, im satisfied. sorry ziyan, i couldnt finish your share, cos i was trying to gorge myself with jialing's share. hahahha... after the class party, i waited for 2 of my exclassmates, and poof! off we go to HWA CHONG INSTITUTION, formally known as THE CHINESE HIGH SCHOOL.
i miss my secondary school, i miss all the fun times i had with my classmates, the crappings, the copying of assignments, the kicking of soccer balls. damn. it was fun. and the class was definitely more cohesive than my current j1 class. 4b04, is still the best class i have been in. hahah.. anyway, we only managed to see mrs ke, cos the other tchrs have already left the staff room for the staff lunch. it wasnt a wasted trip i will say, at least i still get to see one tchr. anyway, mrs ke was my physics teacher. hmmm... after that walked to street court with pin pin and teechee. there were so many ppl at the street court la, wth. so in the end just watched for a while. i received reports from teechee that the rest of the class was at beauty world. so off i go to beauty world.
ah ha! there were so many of them! i think there were 11 ppl there when i reached, namely, jeff_jhun(pronounce jeff-j-hun), antchan, fatty ho(zhenho), goh.chuan.yen.ian_goh.chuan.yen.ian, ongjiaweikel, fredhochinswee, roger, senghean, xiancong, kenghong and davidthemagicman! hahah.. met them at the non-air conditioned food court. after that, went to play pool. played for an incredible 3 hours i think?? hahah.. but each person paid only about 5 bucks, well worth the money, considering the crappings, the laughters, the bondings, the gayings.. ahhh.. although, in the end, i was the only njcian left, with the rest hailing from the almightly hwa chong. damn.. if only i was there.. but nvm.. it's okay. my future lies in front of me. no use whinning about tt..
At least i still have my darling! =)
today's a wonderful day, although i wished i could see my darling today...
{/5:11 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
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alt="Journeying Unit Skilled in Troubleshooting and Immediate Nullification"
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ahhh... today was quite a short day. so i went out with jialing! hahha.. okayy, we spent most of our time walking! tiring, but it was quite, erm, fun! and finally.. it's the holidays. a chance for me to take a short break, and yar, to prepare for promos. =s
{/10:18 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Monday, August 29, 2005
are you really that tired of me? i dunno.. i dunno how u are really thinking right now.
i just know that i still care for you and i still hope to be with you for a long long time. do i really treat you that badly as u have said?
i am really really heartbroken..
sighhh.
{/7:22 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
im feeling very slpy now, but i feel i have to blog. the previous entry shdnt be there now, so i shd type sth to cover up things tt shdnt be viewed at this point of time. everything's alright now, i have to thank the very objective si hui for giving me sound advices. so for now, i can view things in the other perspective more easily, not feeling upset over little trivial stuffs again. it's not easy to change one's personality overnight, but i believe, i can. i can, and i want to.
it's great to have someone to accompany you when u are down, accompany you when u need someone to listen to you, accompany you whenever u need help. it feels gd, and i really want to give my darling a hug now to thank her for all she had done for me, spice up my life, and showed me light in the dark tunnel. life has been a struggle. i once pictured life as a dark cave, cold, and nothing to look forward to, (okay, this is crap). but seriously, i have learnt tt, tt are many things that we can look forward to. first, i can look forward to going out with my darling. next, i can look forward to achieving desirable results, provided i work hard for it. i have been feeling depressed so frequently that i feel im just a depressing machine.
i need to be able to feel less upset, to be able to move from from the stagnant position im at now. and i want my darling to accompany me throughout my jouney, to the vast, yet unforeseen future ahead of us..
my dearest darling just lights up my life! =)
{/12:18 AM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
you feel upset and pissed because u say i dun give a damn. but for me, i dun feel pissed, i just feel very very sad. i feel u dun care abt me. in sch, we are just like enemies, avoiding each other as much as possible. i tried talking to u today during lunch, and u plainly ignored me. are the other ppl really more important to u than me? i always feel like this, but i know there's nth i can do to make u take more notice of me in sch.
you say i dun give a damn. but if i dun give a damn, i would have gone home, instead of spending 45 mins to go to marsiling, and another 45 mins back home. i want to spend time with you, but the sadness from sch got carried over through the day. i was just hoping u could at least try to apologise, but u dint. u nv try to apologise, or it's either an insincere apology. i feel hurt by the way u treat me in sch. okay, when there's no sch, i usually feel happier. because i dun get the sense of being alone, and there's less worries abt sch.
you say i dun give a damn that u are sick. well, if u really think i dun give a damn, then i've nth to say.
the way u just walk away without saying anything hurts me badly. real bad..
i wish u could just spare more concern for me.
{/5:12 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
physics spa was alright, just that one of my units was wrong.. chem test was utterly screwed up. i just cant believe after studying i still end up like this, what is wrong with me?? i dunno.. i want to do well, or at least, i shd say, pass, but i just cant seem to do that. it seems so easy for the others, but so hard for me. if this continues on, i'll definitely fail my promos. i do not want to fail my promos, i dun wanna get retain. this sux.. this whole results shit has been bugging me for a very very very long time. how i wish i can just escape from this misery, i bet i'll die early from all these unnecessary worries and stress.. someone help me... sigh...
anyway, went to watch bewitched with jialing today! sch seldoms end so early, so today was a gd day to watch a movie. the movie was friggin funny la! i laughed till i got hiccups.. the whole setting was soothing, makes me feel that there are still things that i can look forward to, such as having a gigantic house with a large swimming pool, and having parties at my house every nite. how cool is that eh? hahaha.. ahhh..
i often dream of nonsensical stuffs. perhaps, if i could stop day-dreaming, my results will improve.
was super tired today..
but i did have some fun with my darling =)
{/8:31 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Monday, August 22, 2005
im feeling much better now. thnx to my darling! =) my moods are volatile eh? hahha... i just need reassurance tt's all.
hmmm.. the tests tmr.. i shall just do my best
i love you darling
{/11:36 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
i dunno why i feel tt way, and i know maybe i shd not have made such a big fuss out of it. but i cant help it. but i feel tt maybe i deserve a little more than that. i dunno.. i dunno..
all i know is that im sad... sad... sad...
{/7:45 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
my past few entries have not been positive, but im proud to announce that i've finally been happy today! i hate being sad, everyone else hate to be sad. but once in a while, it's really great to have the sense of happiness. today, i felt relaxed and more importantly, happy!
i think people may think it's a stupid or strange decision, but seriously, going to sentosa in the late evening is darn cool.. the breeze from the sea, the quiet atmosphere, the sandy beach, and the sound of waves hitting the beach.. ahh.. it's just so undescribable.. i know, i know.. many tests are coming up, and not to forget the dreadful promos. but i think there really shd be a time where we can chill out, relax our souls and enjoy the tiny bits that our lives have to offer. everyone needs a little bit of tt oomph factor to make the brain function better. okay, i've already made up my mind that if i get retain, i'll committ suicide. so, tt means that i have to work hard to achieve that goal, to be promoted! and yar, to retain my 4 subjs.
anyway, back to the main point. there weren't many people at sentosa, considering the holy hour in which we entered the island. the time where most people leave. hahahah.. by the time we got some snacks from cold storage and embarking on our bus trip to sentosa, the sky was dark. we found a cozy little corner at the erm.. southern most point of asian continent (sth like tt), u know the twin wooden structure thing that u have to cross the suspension bridge to reach? ah yes, tt one. hahah.. ahhh... i dun regret going there with my darling..
hmm.. and we reached home at 11+..
i just hope that things change for the better.. life does not suck, it's just whether we choose to make it better or not.
i DO NOT want my life to suck. i want to lead a meaningful life. a life to look forward to, and a life where i can share the joys and pains with the person i love.
{/11:37 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Friday, August 19, 2005
today's friday again. somehow, i ended up spending part of time in the canteen, alone. i felt lonely. the feeling of desolation, emptiness and despair.
u left without a word after maths..
i have been feeling sad everyday. if only i can pull myself through, rid myself of this misery..
im sad, very very sad.
{/6:39 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
i spent an hour after school reading my story book.
sometimes, i really feel that im alone. nobody else cares.
i can only blame myself for this screwed up life.
i am sad.
{/5:12 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Friday, August 12, 2005
i love fridays. friday is the day where school ends at 6, and where i have 2 remedials i have to attend, namely maths and econs. econs remedial lasts from 1230 to 120, while maths starts at 430 and ends at 6. so you see, there's this 3h10min break in between where i can do nth! wow.
today, i spent my breaktime in the library, trying to do some work. but in the end, the only thing i did was to play with karwai's phone, and listening to his mp3s. at the same time, i froze my ass and hands off. the library was freakin cold, plus, add some industrial glue to the concoction, and you'll get what i mean. the library is the best place to study.
went home after maths remedial.
{/9:50 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Monday, August 08, 2005
arghhh... where did my money go?? imagine one day, you are happily prepared to go out. and so, u take out your nice little wallet from your bag, open it up to check your accounts. to your utmost horror, the wallet is empty!! as empty as emptiness!!! holy shit. i was friggin pissed. whoever stole my money is gonna pay. wait till i see your wretched ugly face, i'll.. i'll pour concentrated hydrochloric acid over your face!!!!!!!!!! u've gonna pay for stealing my money, my savings in my wallet.... arghh.. stupid thief, do u know how long and how hard i took to save tt amount of money?? u're an asshole. screw u. damn...
but ha! my parents are nice enough to 'compensate' me. i did felt guilty, and my nice grandma, who was coincidentally at home, gave me another 50 bucks! man, i've nv felt so gd. ahhhh, so from then on, im back to my chirpy and happy mood. hahahha..
well, today was national day eve. had to go sch for cultural mapping. shant say anything much about it, except that the bus was filled by german students, i was just the bus guide btw. guiding the bus driver. yup, as simple as that. fortunately, no screw ups. but at the end of it, i think i got a little bit of motion sickness. 1 hour in a bus! tt's crazy! okay, not tt crazy.. hahahah.. then after that, waited for the rest of the class to finish their work, then went out with jialing! we dint plan for the day, so everything was kinda impromtu. in the end, we decided that watching a movie is the best possible solution to the boring day. off we go to orchard cineleisure, and obtaining seats for the 3pm show for Wedding Crashers!
meanwhile, we had our meals at the food court. my cash is limited, so yar.. cant spend so much on food, considering i already spend quite abit on the movie ticket. hmmm, the movie was not bad. it's a comedy in the first place, so of cos, we laughed, laughed and laughed. and erm, due to the NC-16 rating of the movie, you will expect some form of sexual references. we were treated to quite abit, actually , there were alot! hahahhaha... wooot... hahahhaha... if u wanna know, just head for the cinemas la, it'll be better if you watch it for yourself! so, i wont say it's a bad show, contrary to movie reviews for this particular movie.
anyway, tmr's national day! yay! hopefully, we can catch the fireworks at work!
i love national day! =) im such a patriot.. hahahhahahahah!
{/6:40 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
im so so sorry darling.. shdnt have given u the cold shoulder. i felt sad, very sad in fact. but im glad everything's okay now =) okay, i was still feeling not okay in sch today, but after sch, things started to get better..
hmmm, so basically, we went marina square again! the nice thing about going there is that there's not really many people, the place is quite big, and there's a cinema! hahahha.. and guess wat, we watched the sneak preview of charlie and the chocolate factory! well, the movie is erm, for kids. hahahha.. watch it and u'll know why, but it really is an interesting movie, different from the kinds we normally watch. it makes u think that chocolates are the most delicious food ever to be made on earth! holy shit, imagine a world made entirely out of chocolate. and when the sun comes out, things melt and we'll sink into the bottom of the world, engulfed by chocolates. so we breathe chocolates, smell chocolate and live with chocolates. hahahha.. okay, enough of chocolates. (the wonka chocolate wrapper design is quite cool, those little things are cool too, and the soundtrack is just erm.. funny and unique at the same time!) hahahah...
the day started bad, but im really really happy that everything's fine again!! love ya.. =)
{/8:28 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
crap. had a friggin stomachache right after pw. i was feeling weak all over after that.. wth did i eat yesteday?? arghh..........
{/9:15 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
Monday, August 01, 2005
the day started badly. i was darn tired, i could hardly concentrate, and that resulted in my foul mood. there's really no need to make things worse by having PW shit constantly swirling inside your mind. someone has to tell me tt im gonna hve to spend a long time in sch tmr. great.
but, but, and more buts.. today was still a nice day! sorry darling if i appeared sad, well i was really abit sad, troubled, exhausted. hahahha.. it jsut cant be helped. anyway, u did cheered me up at the end of the day! the marina square area is still a rather untapped area. the empty spaces, the linkages between buildings.. ahh, it was just way too cool and interesting! so tt means another, or more trips again to the same place! =)
i love u darling..
{/10:16 PM}
Signed by Yours Truly.
